The Parable of the Tree

So, I haven't written in a while - I apologize. I'm writing now because I feel like I need to share something with the world, and what it is is this:

"Now, Sarah," you may ask, "Why the random picture of a tree?" I will explain, but let me tell you a story first.

There was a seed, planted in decent soil. It was a fair distance away from other plants, but still a part of the surroundings. It tried its very best to push through the soil to reach the sun. It was hard work! The seed was little, and the ground was thick and literally all-consuming. It often felt discouraged in the darkness. It saw the roots of other plants around it and thought "They are so much better than I am. They are strong. They made it. I wish I could be them. I will never see the sun." Still, everyday it soaked up the water that came trickling through the dirt, and kept pushing. "Why am I planted here?! This is the worst soil. It is hard and clay-like. There are roots everywhere that will choke me out, and I could get eaten by an animal! This is the worst place ever." The water kept coming and the seed kept growing.

One day, the seed finally broke the surface. It felt the warmth of the sun and the cool air blowing by. It had made it! "I did it! Wow, this is amazing! I wish I could've been planted over there, though. Then I could see the river better. That stinks." It kept growing from the water that came sprinkling down from above.

When it was a sapling, it experienced a heavy rainstorm. There was thunder that rattled its tender branches and the rain beat down on its little leaves. The little tree bent in the wind. It felt its roots being pulled against the ground. The sapling thought "Why is this happening to me?! This is so unfair. I am young still - I can't handle this. I shouldn't have to go through this." Eventually the storm subsided, and the sapling shuddered at how close its roots were to the surface. It knew it would take some time to recover from the trauma of the storm. The next morning, however, it found that dirt was mounded up around its base where its roots were weakest. "That's awesome! It must have blown there during the night. I'm so lucky."

A few years later, the sapling had become a young tree. It had a stronger trunk and many branches. It was proud of its height and sturdiness. Suddenly, it noticed a sharp pain coming from one of its branches. It was shocked to discover that the branch had been completely removed! "What is this?! I am perfectly healthy! I shouldn't be feeling this! This is painful! I don't like it! It needs to stop - NOW." Yet, it felt it again. A third time. A fourth. It resented the chopping of branches deeply.

Many years later, it had experienced many rainstorms, blizzards, and prunings. It had seen more beautiful plants than itself grow up around it. There were trees taller than it, and trees stronger than it. It saw plants struggle and die. It had been a home and shelter to countless birds and squirrels. It had seen its fruit be eaten by grateful animals, and also seen it sitting on the ground, going unappreciated. It had grown into what it was created to be.

One morning, an old man with kind eyes approached the tree. The tree noticed this man for the first time. "Hello, my friend," he said with a twinkle in his kind eyes. "Friend? Who is this man?" The old man sighed. "Don't you know me? I've known you a very long time. I planted you exactly where I knew you would do best. I cared for you. When you were struggling to sprout, I watered you. When you were tossed about by rain, I protected you. When you were growing, I pruned you to help you grow stronger. I've guided you on your journey from seed to tree. You have never been alone." The tree listened, stunned. "You are still that seed, but you have become something new. You are a tree - strong and beautiful. You serve others, as you were grown to do. You give, not only demand. You give even when others do not think they need it. I am proud of you and the tree you have grown to be." The gardener patted the trunk of the tree and whispered "I brought you to your potential with my sweat here in the garden. I worked very hard to support you when you needed me. You are very special to me." He stood in silence for a moment before turning and walking back toward his home. The tree looked back on its existence and realized all the times it had felt the hands of the gardener during its most difficult times. It was all true - the gardener had crafted it.

Now, I tell that story because I have been thinking recently about my own life. I have had trials and tests. I have been discouraged, stuck, called names, rejected, alone, and have torn myself down. Still, the hands of the Master Gardener have always been there, guiding, supporting, changing me. I have been pruned - weaknesses have been removed, fears and doubts have been silenced. It wasn't fun or easy, but it has happened. Sometimes, my burdens have been lifted, and other times I have been strengthened so I can bare them better. I have been blessed. I want to express my gratitude for that. I am far from perfect, but I have changed and grown. I hope I will be able to continue to grow into the woman that I am meant to be - a person that makes the Master proud.

Deer in the Headlights

There is another deer on the side of the road, slaughtered by its own daring. I imagine that it stood at the edge of the wood, eyeing the trees on the other side of the concrete river with longing. It saw the deer across feasting on flowers that seemed unending. That yellow line must be the boundary into a magical world. The poor thing must have begun to envy the way man envies. Like a Shakespearean tragic hero, he felt the tide of jealousy well up inside of him.

He must have the neighboring kingdom. He would stop at nothing to preside majestically over both realms. Why should he stop on this side of the stone creek? Even though the fast creatures with the bright yellow eyes came tearing down the smooth, grey surface, nothing would hold our hero back. He resolved to do what others warned against.

He knew it was possible to cross the road – he had seen it done. He has seen others rise to the challenge and complete it successfully. He is just as powerful as they are, just as strong, if not more so. He thought of his accomplishments, his women, his children, his territory. They are impressive by any standard. He had the record of excellence, why should he fear?

I believe that he stepped out into the road, not in a panic as he should have, but with his chest out before him. I believe that he did not look to see if one of those frightening beasts was racing toward him. I believe that he had forgotten reality in the moment of his self-validation. If only the prophets had warned the deer that pride cometh before a fall.

As a man going into debt, seeking the hand of a lover, or pursuing the ever elusive power and popularity, this buck sauntered onto the cement with his head held high, looking at those on the opposite side with contempt. Basking in the quickly oncoming light, he smirked in a self-satisfied way. It was all so easy.

Playing with Fire

There comes a moment in your life when you discover that there is a Katy Perry song that describes your dating experience. It is a sad, sad moment. There is also a moment when you are amazed at the resonance a P!nk song has with you. I don't know if you've ever had this experience before. I must confess that I have had this happen to me. I love the song "Try" by P!nk. The lyrics are as follows (The verses followed by the chorus at the end):

 

"Ever wonder about what he's doing?
How it all turned to lies.
Sometimes I think that it's better

To never ask why.

Funny how the heart can be deceiving,
More than just a couple times.
Why do we fall in love so easy
Even when it's not right?

Ever worried that it might be ruined
And does it make you wanna cry?
When you're out there doing what you're doing
Are you just getting by?
Tell me are you just getting by?

 

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame,
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned,
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die,
You've gotta get up and try"

 

 

So, why do I love this song so much? I'm not quite sure. It makes me want to dance in a way I haven't danced in a while. That is only part of it. I think that it is because of where I am right now. My high school experience has been amazing. I've loved it. Still, it has been a rollercoaster. I can think of three difference situations to apply to each of the three verses. I'm here, though. The chorus speaks a fundamental truth - wherever the stakes are high, there are high risks. High risks yield high rewards. Putting yourself out there is the only way you'll get what you want. You may fall, or get burned, sometimes, but it is so worth the risk. Even when you fail, you get the reward of learning from your mistakes! Isn't it amazing how that works? We got ourselves a pretty sweet deal.

 

I guess my point is that life is always good, even when it's hard. We have so much to be grateful for: our families, freedoms, faith, and friends. We can be grateful for our challenges, trials, failures, and successes. I think of "Meet the Robinsons." "That was a great failure!" Keep smiling - you are so loved. Don't ever forget that.

 

Happy Thanksgiving. I'm grateful for you.

 

S 

"An Apology"; also titled "Year of Joy: Update 2"

I'm sorry I've been awful recently... I've had a lot of thoughts worth sharing - I just struggle with putting them in order of priority. I'm going to go ahead and jump right in with a YoJ update.

Well, We are already at month four of my Year of Joy. Crazy. Since my last post, I've taken the ACT and SAT twice each. I've gotten into the swing of school and theatre. Op: Positivity has continue to grow. College apps are happening. I went to my first and last high school homecoming. We performed in the Variety Show. I've had some trials and I've been blessed.

Remember what I wrote about in my first two YoJ posts? The stuff about work and rewards? Yeah. I am going to repeat myself. IT IS SO TRUE. I have been so enormously blessed for my hard work. Let me tell you - it was HARD work. It was difficult to force myself to do what I knew I needed to. Our equation for joy was:

WORK + PLAY + FAITH = JOY

I want to add something to it. It should look more like this:

WORK + PLAY + FAITH(HUMILITY) = JOY

(I have a feeling we will be adding to this formula throughout the year.) I've discovered that when I am working hard, I need to remember to say "Thy will be done, o Lord" while going through "my" plans. I have to realize that my plans aren't mine at all. God's plan for me is better than any plan I could make for myself. Whether it means not doing as well as you could on a test the first time or drifting apart from friendships, it's in God's hands. Being blunt, humility can suck. But it is much, MUCH worse if you are prideful and Heavenly Father has to teach you to be humble. Make a choice for this week to not only be grateful, but to be humble. If things aren't working out the way you want them to, don't stress - He's got it covered.

Oh, and here's a YoJ picture for you. Talk about joy! (Hayride/bonfire/barn dance with church kids.)

Good Company

A thought for the moment:

“My idea of good company...is the company of clever, well-informed people, who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company.'
'You are mistaken,' said he gently, 'that is not good company, that is the best.”
― Jane Austen, Persuasion

COLUMBUS DAY?!

Happy Columbus Day? HAPPY COLUMBUS DAY?! How DARE you insult my 21st century morality and perspective by telling me to celebrate the arrival of an invader, conqueror, and thief!

Okay, wait. You mean Columbus wasn't out to steal from people? You mean Columbus didn't know he was carrying deadly illnesses to a people who had not yet built an immunity to it? You mean Columbus didn't realize that he was upsetting a way of life that had been in practice for hundreds of years? You mean that he might have actually thought that he was HELPING PEOPLE? What the-

I love history, and I have studied it in depth. My knowledge is not perfect, but I am passionate about the subject. One thing I've learned from my studies is that you cannot take the narrative as fact. You cannot only believe what you read in your 5th grade textbook. It has been dumbed down, and is typically rampantly biased either to the left or the right. As a student of history, you are a seeker of truth. You are looking for the answers to questions people have. Of course, history is a social science, and you have an issue called "perspective." Two people who witness the same event may recount it in completely different ways. The people hearing those retellings have their own beliefs through which the facts are filtered once again. Today, we try to judge historical players by our own code of morality. Is this fair? I want to write a little about Columbus Day.

Imagine landing on an alien planet similar to Earth when you didn't know you were going there. The inhabitants look different, speak a different language, and have a completely different lifestyle. You try to trade supplies with them, and they willingly give you diamonds and Chipotle burritos for raisins and pony beads. You can't believe your luck - these people are so kind! They seem to live in a way that would be considered poverty where you are from. You try to teach them how to build roads and install water pipes. You don't stop to think that your descendants will use this exchange to lambaste you for years to come.

I personally get offended when people speak of immigrants to the United States as "evil thieves". I understand the point that a way of life was terribly and cruelly disrupted. It makes me grieve to think of those who suffered injustices. Yet, I also have the opinion that the time has gone. Why should I feel guilty for the actions of people who lived hundreds of years before me? Why should I feel that I am a visitor or invader in my homeland? My literal ancestors came here in the 1600s to flee religious persecution and economic hardship, not greed. I had grandfathers who fought in the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, and the World Wars. My own father served his country for 18 years as a federal official. My ancestors struggled through the Great Depression, toiled across the plains, and poured their blood, sweat, and tears into farms and businesses in Virginia, Ohio, Iowa, Utah, and Illinois. This is MY country. My forefathers earned the right and have given me the privilege to say those four words. I am hurt when people try to tell me otherwise. Also, what does this say about more recent immigrants? Are they not a true part of this country? Of course they are. We thank everyone for their contributions to our country.

If you've studied history, you understand that it tells a story of a constant exchange of land and power among rulers, peoples, and empires. Egypt has never been purely "Egyptian." The land has belonged to countless empires and peoples. What even is "pure Egyptian?" Shouldn't it just be someone who lives, works, loves, and dies there?

I belong to this land. I am grateful everyday for that fact. I rejoice in its triumphs and mourn its sorrows. May we all remember our own heritage today in a way that would make our ancestors proud that we carry their name.

I am proud to be an American. I am proud to be a true American, not a German-American, or Anglo-American, or Euro-American or whatever name society might choose to give me.

God bless America, and everyone in her.

15 Things You May Not Know...

After a year of our one-sided conversation, I feel that it's time to let you guys in on some facts you may not know (or really want to know) about me:

1. I am obsessed with pictures. I have photos all over my bedroom, computer, and I can never decide on Facebook photos.

2. I hate elevators. I especially hate the one in the parking garage by Target. Because of this, I refused to go on Tower of Terror at Disney World until I was 16. Yup. But don't worry - my love of Twilight Zone beat out my fear of falling to my death on a theme park ride.

3. I have been to around 43 US states. I need to hit up Alaska and Hawaii, parts of New England, the Pacific Northwest and North Dakota. I haven't really thought of a reason to go there yet... I'm working on it. I'd love to have visited every state before I graduate from college.

4. I have a bucket list that I have written down and hung up on my wall. It is comprised of more that 300 items and is constantly being added to and crossed off. It ranges in seriousness from things like "be in a paint fight" to "get married in the temple." Ask me about it sometime.

5. I have been a DJ before. It is something really fun and random that I love to do. Sometimes it means dressing up and being the most excited person there. It's right up my alley.

6. I love pranking. Before you judge, let me clarify - I love nice pranking. Things like heart-attacking, or doorbell-ditching cookies on their porch, or forking their yard with hearts and notes. Plus, you get to wear war paint.

7. Some girl friends and I came up with B.F.D.s, or best friend dates. Sometimes, you just need to go out and do something one-on-one with one of your best friends. It's different than hanging out in a group or talking on the phone. If you ever see one of us use the hashtag #bfd, you now know what we are referring to.

8. I love going to the movies. I know that some girls hate going to the movies on a date because it's "cliche," but I love movie dates. Most of the movies I see in the theatre, I see more than once. I also collect movie ticket stubs. I have a whole bin full of them. I actually gave up a discount once because they were going to take my ticket stub. It was on a bfd with one of my friends... She was embarrassed. I have my The Amazing Spider-Man 3D ticket stub though. It was worth it.

9. I wake up around 5am every school day to attend Seminary. No, I'm not becoming a priest (that wouldn't work), but it is a four year program that goes in depth in studying the scriptures. Each year, we focus on a different book of scripture: Book of Mormon; Doctrine and Covenants & Church History; Old Testament; and New Testament. I am a senior in both high school and seminary. It's a lot of work waking up that early, but I have been so blessed because of my attendance at seminary. I'm grateful that I'm able to spend time with Heavenly Father every morning in a place where the World is silent.

10. I have a lot of opinions and ideas, but I don't often put them into words whilst having a conversation. That is one reason why I write! I love it, and I am doing it constantly.

11. I have the best friends in the world. For real. I struggled a lot to find good people to spend time with and really learn from, and I've finally found them. I thank God everyday for the blessings that they are in my life.

12. My family has driven across the USA so many times that I have lost count. We have traveled all over the States, from NY to Florida, from Idaho to South Carolina, from Wisconsin to Texas and everywhere in between.

13. I love the number 13. It has always been lucky for me.

14. I love sweaters. I don't know if you've ever noticed, but I have a sweater as a part of almost every outfit I wear. They are just perfect! They make things modest, classy, and I don't have to worry about anything. Gosh, I love them.




This is Nathan & I on location. I'm the psycho one with my arms up.

15. I made a movie this past summer with my friend Nathan. It was Church film documenting our stake's Youth Conference to Palmyra, NY. We interviewed more than 50 teens, and worked out logistics for filming, equipment, interviewing, and legal junk. (We had to get around 150 teenagers to get their parents to sign a "image use" form. THAT was tough.) It was such a neat experience though. I was blessed to hear all those kids testify of their faith and knowledge of the great work our Heavenly Father has, and is, doing in the world and in their lives. It was fabulous. It premieres this fall at the D.C. Stake Center. Come check it out!

So that's a little bit - okay, a lot - about me. Ever wondered anything about me? I'm opening it up for questions... I know that's dangerous, but come on. You guys already know everything about me. ...Or do you?

Peace  from the East,
S