Our Fascination with Suffering

Last night, I saw The Hunger Games at AMC's Summer Night program. What it is is AMC brings back 6 or 7 big movies to replay for 3 nights a week in July and August. Best part: $3 tickets. It was a lot of fun. The week before, I saw The Amazing Spider-Man. The week before that was Dark Knight Rises, which I didn't attend. After watching The Hunger Games again for the first time in more than a year, I started thinking. (That's never good.) Why is my generation so obsessed with The Hunger Games? Why do we enjoy watching totalitarian governments abuse and destroy human beings? What is the draw? We can't relate to it - we've never been torn away from our families and forced to fight to the death. We don't live in shacks, and we don't have to hunt game to keep from starving. Why does our generation devour it so greedily?

My mom said it was due to us being raised on violent media. That is true. We are desensitized as a whole. We play video and computer games, watch movies, and hear news stories filled with graphic violence. However, if you talk to the average American teenager, I doubt they would say they want to see a murder take place outside their bedroom window. The question remains then, why does The Hunger Games speak so loudly to us?


Constantly being controlled by outside forces

I have another idea. It is fear of being out of control. Katniss (the protagonist of THG) lives in the poorest district of her country. Her father died in a work-related accident, and her mother suffers from depression. She has been thrown into a pretty rough life, and this is before she is shipped off to fight against 23 of her peers in a death-trap of an arena. The whole time, Katniss is struggling to take charge of her fate. "May the odds be ever in your favor" is not a reassuring phrase. She doesn't want to be controlled by "the odds," by the government, by her mentor, by the sponsors, by a relationship, or by other forces that appear over the course of Catching Fire and Mockingjay. Her short life has always been defined by outside events, and she is constantly battling against them. In the end, she must be in control for her to be happy. Ultimately, she does place herself in a situation where she is always in control, even if it isn't always for the best. (I don't want to say too much about the epilogue, even though I could go on for a while.)

Okay, so the average millennial is afraid of being out of control. We could go one step further and say that it is a fear of the unknown. As a group, we have everything. We have food, water, education, air conditioning, cell phones, iPods, cars, Burger King, Angry Birds, and even whole industries that wait on us hand and foot. We are protected from violence (I know that there is terrible violence in some homes and neighborhoods, but I am generalizing), we are protected from want, and sometimes even protected from work! We're afraid of poverty because we wouldn't know how to behave or survive. (Let's be real - if your average suburban teenager was placed in The Hunger Games, it would not end well for them.) It's the unknown and unfamiliar that scares us.

Revolution: the blackout changed us

Apocalypse movies and TV shows are rampant. We are afraid of pollution and using up our resources (After Earth, Elysium, Wall-E, Firefly, Revolution, Oblivion), of epidemics (World War Z, Contagion, any other zombie movie ever), of unexpected attack (Pacific Rim, Falling Skies, Red Dawn, Apollo 18, Pretty Little Liars), and even our own desires (Secret Life of the American Teenager, Juno, Hannibal). We are afraid of things beyond our control, that we don't know and cannot know. Think about the traumatic events of the last decade or so. We have had terrorist attacks, natural disasters, swine flu scare, and an economic collapse. All of those things come out of the blue, and children/teens have no way to emotionally prepare for them. Our enemies have not been countries we can identify and prepare to defend ourselves against. Of course we are afraid of the unknown, of chance, or of helplessness. We have felt this way, and Hollywood and New York respond to those feelings.

I feel that the perfect example of this is Pretty Little Liars, a show on ABC Family.

AttAcked by the unknown

Four regular teenage girls are thrust into a world of fear when their best friend suddenly goes missing (and is killed). They are haunted by "A," the unknown tormentor and hoarder of their secrets. A sees everything and is not afraid of hurting - or killing - those who get in her way. To the rest of their world in a idyllic American suburb, they are just strange, but they are being targeted and emotionally (sometimes physically) harmed through the texts and actions of someone they do not know.

Before I mentioned The Amazing Spider-Man and The Dark Knight Rises. Could we list all of the superhero movies that have been released in the last couple years? Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Iron Man 3, The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Rises, Thor, The Incredible Hulk, Captain America, The Avengers, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, The Green Hornet, X-Men: First Class, Green Lantern, Man of Steel, and we have Wolverine and Thor: A Dark World coming out this year. Those are only a few of the many superhero movies that have been released recently. Why is this genre so successful now? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy superhero movies, but there is only so much one can do with a superhero film. The hero has a bit of self-discovery, and then saves mankind from a perilous teeter on the edge of oblivion.

Super strength and super morals

Our generation is looking for a hero. We want to believe that there is a person who can defend us from the unknown and unexpected. We are looking for someone stronger than we are, someone with superpowers, whether it be super strength, time travelling abilities, magic, or ridiculous intelligence to protect us. We want to know that when General Zod comes from space, Superman will be there. We want to be able to sleep knowing that if Daleks come, the Doctor will be there too. We want to believe that if there is a serial killer in the night, Sherlock Holmes will find him. The unknown and uncontrollable terrifies us, and we want to believe in Something Bigger, Someone in control. If only our generation understood what they were asking. Some of us already know the answer.

Goodbye, HST

I was waiting to post about HST until I was ready. I still don't think I'm totally ready, but here goes...

I have been blessed with HST for nine years. What began as, "Sure, Mom. I'll take an acting class," became hundreds of hours of work and play. I have been able to participate in nine Showcases (2 years Acting, 6 years Choir, 5 years jazz, 5 years tap, 3 years Irish, and 1 year of Dance Intensive), 3 Junior Troupe musicals, 4 Senior Troupe musicals, 2 AI Coffee House shows, and several Varity Shows. I have been in troupe with exactly 80 different people. I have had leads and chorus parts. I have sang solos and in 5 part harmonies. I have tap danced in overalls, tux t-shirts, fedoras, and while holding giant hearts. I have danced with a stroller, a glass, and a table in the same number. I have been in numbers such as "Mr. Roboto" by Styx to "You Make Me Feel So Young" by Frank Sinatra. The 13 minute DI number will always be a personal favorite for me.

Showcase finales in and of themselves are memorable. Bad example: I don't remember anything from my first finale except Mrs. Mullan frantically waving my line through the bow and offstage. I do, however, remember "Joy to the World," "Sing Sing Sing," "One," "Human" by the Killers, the random Japanese "Shining Star" one, "We Are Family," Wolf's amazing original "Can You Hear Me Now?," and that awful one we signed to while wearing various hats. I remember watching the "big kids" swing dance and Nick W. wearing that bullfrog hat. I remember the night the boys Tebow-ed at the end of the show. Most of all, I remember screaming with joy at the end of each Showcase performance once the curtain closed.

Junior Troupe memories are crazy. My first Jr. show was "The Lady Pirates of Captain Bree." That was a hoot. We had probably 25 kids with 12 names between us. It was great. I remember being on the younger side with a huge number of 8th graders. THAT was exciting. It was my first musical, and it made me love telling a story through theatre. The next year was "Tom Sawyer," and that was probably what got me hooked. I still love and stay in touch with pretty much everyone from that show. Eighth grade was "Snow White" year, and Mrs. B gave me a chance to push myself. I loved having a small cast (18 people) and a very colorful show. It was awesome. One of the best parts has been watching the youngest kids from that show grow up. The little cat was nine years old for that show - he's going to be a freshman in high school this fall!


 I joined Senior Troupe in HST's 15th season - just when Sr. was doing HST's 50th show! It was a milestone year, so we had to do a milestone show. We did "Crazy for You," which was HST's first ever dance-ical. With a psycho number of full cast dance numbers, including multiple tap numbers, CfY was a riot. I was shepherded by so many kind people who helped me find my footing in the deepend of the HST pool that is Senior Troupe. Thank you. You know who you are.


Sophomore year, we did "Little Women." I've already written a long post about my experience and the things I learned from that show. I guess I'll say: it was a huge blessing. Seriously. If you have a chance to even see that show, go. It was a very uplifting experience.

Last year we did "How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying." It was a bit of a rough transition from a spiritual, family-centered show that addressed real issues to a high-powered (see what I did there?) comedy. I admit, at first I was not completely sold. I mean, I had liked H2$ for a long time, and I was excited to be doing it, but as I said, it was a rough transition. I made it, however. It remains one of my favorite performance experiences. There were so many amazing people who participated in it. I loved it.

Lastly, "Gone with the Breeze." Oh, dear... It came as a shock. Doing a Pioneer Drama in Senior Troupe had become outdated and almost out of the question. Yet, here we were, working on one. We took a show with many flaws and carved, sanded, polished, and scrubbed it until it was beautiful. It was a great show, and I regret nothing. I don't mind that my lead was in a show future directors won't know. That's fine. I enjoyed learning, performing, choreographing, etc. in that show. It was a great experience. Also, the group of people was one of the best I've ever known.

I have met so many amazing people in HST or through mutual friends I know from HST. I cannot imagine what my life would be like without those people. I would probably be at school. I would know 1 person in my graduating class. They are all good people. When teens talk about peer pressue to do things they aren't comfortable with, I can't relate. My friends are people with high standards and Christian values. I have grown up with these people. I guess it's kind of like living in a small town - everyone goes all the way through school together. They all remember everyone's awkward phases, who they dated, and the changes they have made. But, HST is like a family in that they know all of those things, and they don't care. They love you anyway.

Not only have I met so many friends through HST, but I have been introduced to amazing, Christ-like women. They have shown me what it means to be a mother. They have proven to me that no one can tell me I am not good enough to teach and raise my own children. They have shown me how you can use your talents to serve others. They have taught me many, many lessons. Just to name a few: Mrs. Alexander, Mrs. Beardsley, Mrs. Rodriguez, Mrs. Bleakley, Mrs. Hackett, Mrs. Howard, Mrs. Burns, Sister Higham, Mrs. Hsu, Mrs. Tallman, Mrs. Elkan, Mrs. Atkinson, Mrs. Elhallal, Mrs. Neff, Mrs. Morrison, and Mrs. Robertson. That was just naming a few! Thank you so much, HST moms. You are the greatest. Thanks for doing an awesome job with your children. They are fantastic people.

I guess, I'm going to end this nostalgic trip down memory lane with an open letter to HST.

Dear HST,
Thank you. You have been a major part of my life for almost a decade. Thank you for teaching me that I love theatre. Thank you for teaching me that I can do anything I decide to. Thank you for helping me learn grace, kindness, service, and watching out for others. Thank you for allowing me to explore. Even though you knocked me on my butt a couple times, I forgive you. The positives outweigh the terrible moments. Thank you for creating a safe environment for me to grow into the woman I am and to meet amazing people. I will always remember you as a blessing, synonymous with both childhood and high school. I cannot wait to see what you create in the future. They are always beautiful. Keep on loving the way I know you do. You have something rare. It is not only special, it's sacred. I know that God smiles when He looks down on you. You are a training ground, an incubator for tools for His works. You have great things ahead of you.

I love you.
Sarah

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Parable of the Tree

So, I haven't written in a while - I apologize. I'm writing now because I feel like I need to share something with the world, and what it is is this:

"Now, Sarah," you may ask, "Why the random picture of a tree?" I will explain, but let me tell you a story first.

There was a seed, planted in decent soil. It was a fair distance away from other plants, but still a part of the surroundings. It tried its very best to push through the soil to reach the sun. It was hard work! The seed was little, and the ground was thick and literally all-consuming. It often felt discouraged in the darkness. It saw the roots of other plants around it and thought "They are so much better than I am. They are strong. They made it. I wish I could be them. I will never see the sun." Still, everyday it soaked up the water that came trickling through the dirt, and kept pushing. "Why am I planted here?! This is the worst soil. It is hard and clay-like. There are roots everywhere that will choke me out, and I could get eaten by an animal! This is the worst place ever." The water kept coming and the seed kept growing.

One day, the seed finally broke the surface. It felt the warmth of the sun and the cool air blowing by. It had made it! "I did it! Wow, this is amazing! I wish I could've been planted over there, though. Then I could see the river better. That stinks." It kept growing from the water that came sprinkling down from above.

When it was a sapling, it experienced a heavy rainstorm. There was thunder that rattled its tender branches and the rain beat down on its little leaves. The little tree bent in the wind. It felt its roots being pulled against the ground. The sapling thought "Why is this happening to me?! This is so unfair. I am young still - I can't handle this. I shouldn't have to go through this." Eventually the storm subsided, and the sapling shuddered at how close its roots were to the surface. It knew it would take some time to recover from the trauma of the storm. The next morning, however, it found that dirt was mounded up around its base where its roots were weakest. "That's awesome! It must have blown there during the night. I'm so lucky."

A few years later, the sapling had become a young tree. It had a stronger trunk and many branches. It was proud of its height and sturdiness. Suddenly, it noticed a sharp pain coming from one of its branches. It was shocked to discover that the branch had been completely removed! "What is this?! I am perfectly healthy! I shouldn't be feeling this! This is painful! I don't like it! It needs to stop - NOW." Yet, it felt it again. A third time. A fourth. It resented the chopping of branches deeply.

Many years later, it had experienced many rainstorms, blizzards, and prunings. It had seen more beautiful plants than itself grow up around it. There were trees taller than it, and trees stronger than it. It saw plants struggle and die. It had been a home and shelter to countless birds and squirrels. It had seen its fruit be eaten by grateful animals, and also seen it sitting on the ground, going unappreciated. It had grown into what it was created to be.

One morning, an old man with kind eyes approached the tree. The tree noticed this man for the first time. "Hello, my friend," he said with a twinkle in his kind eyes. "Friend? Who is this man?" The old man sighed. "Don't you know me? I've known you a very long time. I planted you exactly where I knew you would do best. I cared for you. When you were struggling to sprout, I watered you. When you were tossed about by rain, I protected you. When you were growing, I pruned you to help you grow stronger. I've guided you on your journey from seed to tree. You have never been alone." The tree listened, stunned. "You are still that seed, but you have become something new. You are a tree - strong and beautiful. You serve others, as you were grown to do. You give, not only demand. You give even when others do not think they need it. I am proud of you and the tree you have grown to be." The gardener patted the trunk of the tree and whispered "I brought you to your potential with my sweat here in the garden. I worked very hard to support you when you needed me. You are very special to me." He stood in silence for a moment before turning and walking back toward his home. The tree looked back on its existence and realized all the times it had felt the hands of the gardener during its most difficult times. It was all true - the gardener had crafted it.

Now, I tell that story because I have been thinking recently about my own life. I have had trials and tests. I have been discouraged, stuck, called names, rejected, alone, and have torn myself down. Still, the hands of the Master Gardener have always been there, guiding, supporting, changing me. I have been pruned - weaknesses have been removed, fears and doubts have been silenced. It wasn't fun or easy, but it has happened. Sometimes, my burdens have been lifted, and other times I have been strengthened so I can bare them better. I have been blessed. I want to express my gratitude for that. I am far from perfect, but I have changed and grown. I hope I will be able to continue to grow into the woman that I am meant to be - a person that makes the Master proud.

Deer in the Headlights

There is another deer on the side of the road, slaughtered by its own daring. I imagine that it stood at the edge of the wood, eyeing the trees on the other side of the concrete river with longing. It saw the deer across feasting on flowers that seemed unending. That yellow line must be the boundary into a magical world. The poor thing must have begun to envy the way man envies. Like a Shakespearean tragic hero, he felt the tide of jealousy well up inside of him.

He must have the neighboring kingdom. He would stop at nothing to preside majestically over both realms. Why should he stop on this side of the stone creek? Even though the fast creatures with the bright yellow eyes came tearing down the smooth, grey surface, nothing would hold our hero back. He resolved to do what others warned against.

He knew it was possible to cross the road – he had seen it done. He has seen others rise to the challenge and complete it successfully. He is just as powerful as they are, just as strong, if not more so. He thought of his accomplishments, his women, his children, his territory. They are impressive by any standard. He had the record of excellence, why should he fear?

I believe that he stepped out into the road, not in a panic as he should have, but with his chest out before him. I believe that he did not look to see if one of those frightening beasts was racing toward him. I believe that he had forgotten reality in the moment of his self-validation. If only the prophets had warned the deer that pride cometh before a fall.

As a man going into debt, seeking the hand of a lover, or pursuing the ever elusive power and popularity, this buck sauntered onto the cement with his head held high, looking at those on the opposite side with contempt. Basking in the quickly oncoming light, he smirked in a self-satisfied way. It was all so easy.

Playing with Fire

There comes a moment in your life when you discover that there is a Katy Perry song that describes your dating experience. It is a sad, sad moment. There is also a moment when you are amazed at the resonance a P!nk song has with you. I don't know if you've ever had this experience before. I must confess that I have had this happen to me. I love the song "Try" by P!nk. The lyrics are as follows (The verses followed by the chorus at the end):

 

"Ever wonder about what he's doing?
How it all turned to lies.
Sometimes I think that it's better

To never ask why.

Funny how the heart can be deceiving,
More than just a couple times.
Why do we fall in love so easy
Even when it's not right?

Ever worried that it might be ruined
And does it make you wanna cry?
When you're out there doing what you're doing
Are you just getting by?
Tell me are you just getting by?

 

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame,
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned,
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die,
You've gotta get up and try"

 

 

So, why do I love this song so much? I'm not quite sure. It makes me want to dance in a way I haven't danced in a while. That is only part of it. I think that it is because of where I am right now. My high school experience has been amazing. I've loved it. Still, it has been a rollercoaster. I can think of three difference situations to apply to each of the three verses. I'm here, though. The chorus speaks a fundamental truth - wherever the stakes are high, there are high risks. High risks yield high rewards. Putting yourself out there is the only way you'll get what you want. You may fall, or get burned, sometimes, but it is so worth the risk. Even when you fail, you get the reward of learning from your mistakes! Isn't it amazing how that works? We got ourselves a pretty sweet deal.

 

I guess my point is that life is always good, even when it's hard. We have so much to be grateful for: our families, freedoms, faith, and friends. We can be grateful for our challenges, trials, failures, and successes. I think of "Meet the Robinsons." "That was a great failure!" Keep smiling - you are so loved. Don't ever forget that.

 

Happy Thanksgiving. I'm grateful for you.

 

S 

"An Apology"; also titled "Year of Joy: Update 2"

I'm sorry I've been awful recently... I've had a lot of thoughts worth sharing - I just struggle with putting them in order of priority. I'm going to go ahead and jump right in with a YoJ update.

Well, We are already at month four of my Year of Joy. Crazy. Since my last post, I've taken the ACT and SAT twice each. I've gotten into the swing of school and theatre. Op: Positivity has continue to grow. College apps are happening. I went to my first and last high school homecoming. We performed in the Variety Show. I've had some trials and I've been blessed.

Remember what I wrote about in my first two YoJ posts? The stuff about work and rewards? Yeah. I am going to repeat myself. IT IS SO TRUE. I have been so enormously blessed for my hard work. Let me tell you - it was HARD work. It was difficult to force myself to do what I knew I needed to. Our equation for joy was:

WORK + PLAY + FAITH = JOY

I want to add something to it. It should look more like this:

WORK + PLAY + FAITH(HUMILITY) = JOY

(I have a feeling we will be adding to this formula throughout the year.) I've discovered that when I am working hard, I need to remember to say "Thy will be done, o Lord" while going through "my" plans. I have to realize that my plans aren't mine at all. God's plan for me is better than any plan I could make for myself. Whether it means not doing as well as you could on a test the first time or drifting apart from friendships, it's in God's hands. Being blunt, humility can suck. But it is much, MUCH worse if you are prideful and Heavenly Father has to teach you to be humble. Make a choice for this week to not only be grateful, but to be humble. If things aren't working out the way you want them to, don't stress - He's got it covered.

Oh, and here's a YoJ picture for you. Talk about joy! (Hayride/bonfire/barn dance with church kids.)

Good Company

A thought for the moment:

“My idea of good company...is the company of clever, well-informed people, who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company.'
'You are mistaken,' said he gently, 'that is not good company, that is the best.”
― Jane Austen, Persuasion