"An Apology"; also titled "Year of Joy: Update 2"

I'm sorry I've been awful recently... I've had a lot of thoughts worth sharing - I just struggle with putting them in order of priority. I'm going to go ahead and jump right in with a YoJ update.

Well, We are already at month four of my Year of Joy. Crazy. Since my last post, I've taken the ACT and SAT twice each. I've gotten into the swing of school and theatre. Op: Positivity has continue to grow. College apps are happening. I went to my first and last high school homecoming. We performed in the Variety Show. I've had some trials and I've been blessed.

Remember what I wrote about in my first two YoJ posts? The stuff about work and rewards? Yeah. I am going to repeat myself. IT IS SO TRUE. I have been so enormously blessed for my hard work. Let me tell you - it was HARD work. It was difficult to force myself to do what I knew I needed to. Our equation for joy was:

WORK + PLAY + FAITH = JOY

I want to add something to it. It should look more like this:

WORK + PLAY + FAITH(HUMILITY) = JOY

(I have a feeling we will be adding to this formula throughout the year.) I've discovered that when I am working hard, I need to remember to say "Thy will be done, o Lord" while going through "my" plans. I have to realize that my plans aren't mine at all. God's plan for me is better than any plan I could make for myself. Whether it means not doing as well as you could on a test the first time or drifting apart from friendships, it's in God's hands. Being blunt, humility can suck. But it is much, MUCH worse if you are prideful and Heavenly Father has to teach you to be humble. Make a choice for this week to not only be grateful, but to be humble. If things aren't working out the way you want them to, don't stress - He's got it covered.

Oh, and here's a YoJ picture for you. Talk about joy! (Hayride/bonfire/barn dance with church kids.)

15 Things You May Not Know...

After a year of our one-sided conversation, I feel that it's time to let you guys in on some facts you may not know (or really want to know) about me:

1. I am obsessed with pictures. I have photos all over my bedroom, computer, and I can never decide on Facebook photos.

2. I hate elevators. I especially hate the one in the parking garage by Target. Because of this, I refused to go on Tower of Terror at Disney World until I was 16. Yup. But don't worry - my love of Twilight Zone beat out my fear of falling to my death on a theme park ride.

3. I have been to around 43 US states. I need to hit up Alaska and Hawaii, parts of New England, the Pacific Northwest and North Dakota. I haven't really thought of a reason to go there yet... I'm working on it. I'd love to have visited every state before I graduate from college.

4. I have a bucket list that I have written down and hung up on my wall. It is comprised of more that 300 items and is constantly being added to and crossed off. It ranges in seriousness from things like "be in a paint fight" to "get married in the temple." Ask me about it sometime.

5. I have been a DJ before. It is something really fun and random that I love to do. Sometimes it means dressing up and being the most excited person there. It's right up my alley.

6. I love pranking. Before you judge, let me clarify - I love nice pranking. Things like heart-attacking, or doorbell-ditching cookies on their porch, or forking their yard with hearts and notes. Plus, you get to wear war paint.

7. Some girl friends and I came up with B.F.D.s, or best friend dates. Sometimes, you just need to go out and do something one-on-one with one of your best friends. It's different than hanging out in a group or talking on the phone. If you ever see one of us use the hashtag #bfd, you now know what we are referring to.

8. I love going to the movies. I know that some girls hate going to the movies on a date because it's "cliche," but I love movie dates. Most of the movies I see in the theatre, I see more than once. I also collect movie ticket stubs. I have a whole bin full of them. I actually gave up a discount once because they were going to take my ticket stub. It was on a bfd with one of my friends... She was embarrassed. I have my The Amazing Spider-Man 3D ticket stub though. It was worth it.

9. I wake up around 5am every school day to attend Seminary. No, I'm not becoming a priest (that wouldn't work), but it is a four year program that goes in depth in studying the scriptures. Each year, we focus on a different book of scripture: Book of Mormon; Doctrine and Covenants & Church History; Old Testament; and New Testament. I am a senior in both high school and seminary. It's a lot of work waking up that early, but I have been so blessed because of my attendance at seminary. I'm grateful that I'm able to spend time with Heavenly Father every morning in a place where the World is silent.

10. I have a lot of opinions and ideas, but I don't often put them into words whilst having a conversation. That is one reason why I write! I love it, and I am doing it constantly.

11. I have the best friends in the world. For real. I struggled a lot to find good people to spend time with and really learn from, and I've finally found them. I thank God everyday for the blessings that they are in my life.

12. My family has driven across the USA so many times that I have lost count. We have traveled all over the States, from NY to Florida, from Idaho to South Carolina, from Wisconsin to Texas and everywhere in between.

13. I love the number 13. It has always been lucky for me.

14. I love sweaters. I don't know if you've ever noticed, but I have a sweater as a part of almost every outfit I wear. They are just perfect! They make things modest, classy, and I don't have to worry about anything. Gosh, I love them.




This is Nathan & I on location. I'm the psycho one with my arms up.

15. I made a movie this past summer with my friend Nathan. It was Church film documenting our stake's Youth Conference to Palmyra, NY. We interviewed more than 50 teens, and worked out logistics for filming, equipment, interviewing, and legal junk. (We had to get around 150 teenagers to get their parents to sign a "image use" form. THAT was tough.) It was such a neat experience though. I was blessed to hear all those kids testify of their faith and knowledge of the great work our Heavenly Father has, and is, doing in the world and in their lives. It was fabulous. It premieres this fall at the D.C. Stake Center. Come check it out!

So that's a little bit - okay, a lot - about me. Ever wondered anything about me? I'm opening it up for questions... I know that's dangerous, but come on. You guys already know everything about me. ...Or do you?

Peace  from the East,
S

A Guy's Guide to Dating (GDD: Part 3)

Ok gents. I hope you didn't think you were getting out of this one. You may not want to hear this, but dating begins with you. YOU are responsible for making sure girls have an opportunity to let good dating happen.

"Young men generally take the initiative in asking for and planning dates." - For the Strength of Youth (2012 edition)

That's what it says, brother. You have a charge. It's scary, I know. I've asked guys out before. I feel your... not pain. Insecurity is a better word for it. Think about it this way: you think it's scary asking out your friend to play laser tag for an evening? Imagine how intimidating it will be when you ask the most amazing, beautiful girl in the world, who you love with all your heart and would do ANYTHING for, to be your wife for time and all eternity. Even though you know she'll say yes, it's scary. Better get some practice in putting yourself out there and doing things right. Even the girl you propose to will have to be asked out on a date BY YOU at some point. (Logically, right?)

Let me walk you through a scenario. The bold text is your scenario, and everything else is my commentary.

-You realize that you've got nothing to do next Friday. You talk to one of your guys, and decide that you want to do something different than just "chilling," playing video games and your guitars. You come up with the idea to ask two young ladies you know to a picnic.

                        First of all, good choice. You can hang out with the guys anytime, but this is the initiative we were talking about before. You'll need it outside of high school dating, at places like work and college, so it's good to develop it - it is a talent! Plus, girls find it really attractive.
                   
                       Also, you chose a picnic. It's cheap, fun, and no pressure. You don't have to worry about rides, and you know you'll have an opportunity to just talk.

- It is now Monday, and you are seeing Alison that day. When you see her a little off to the side, and not right in front of all her friends, you look her in the eye, smile and say "Hey, Alison. I was wondering if you were free Friday evening for a picnic. Jeff and I were thinking of getting a double together, and I'd love it if you would go with me."

                       Thank you for not asking in front of everyone! That makes it awkward, either because it looks like you're trying to show off, or if she isn't free, it's uncomfortable for her to decline and arrange another time with you. It doesn't have to be all secretive either, because... That's weird.

                      When you actually spoke, you gave her just what she needs to know. You told her the date (Friday), approximate time (evening), activity (picnic), that you were doubling, and that it was in fact a date! You smiled, made her feel special. Way to be.

- She accepts, and you have a date! You tell her "Great! I'm looking for to it. I'll see you at 5:30 at the park? Do you need a ride?"

                     Always check. Make sure she's clear right then the timing of everything, and that she'll have a way to get there. If your mom needs to drive both of you, that's fine. NO SHAME.

- It's now Thursday, and you have to make sure everything is going to happen. You check the weather to be sure it's not going to rain. You run with Jeff to the grocery store to get sandwich makings (and maybe some junk food). You gather the soccer ball and a blanket. You've got this. You are an ace.

                    That's pretty much it. By making sure everything is in place beforehand, you're guaranteeing that you will be able to relax and have fun on your date. You ARE an ace.

- Your date starts, and you are having a blast. You are talking to Alison, who is actually really different when you talk just to her without a huge group of people. You've already learned that she loves Kit Kats and hates Milky Ways, that she wants to be a doctor, and really wants to go to Africa on safari. She's really cute when she laughs and brushes her hair out of her eyes back behind her ear. You also learned that she can kick your butt in soccer. (No one else needs to know that.) Jeff and his date are a lot of fun too. The four of you are having a lot of fun. You haven't checked your phone, and you have just been talking to the people around you.

                  There is so much going right. A+. You are talking to the people present, and not to anyone on your phone or the "textline." You are doing things according to plan, but left it flexible enough to do what you felt like. You are paying the most attention to your date, and not to Jeff, or worse, Jeff's date. (DON'T EVER HIT ON SOMEONE ELSE'S DATE.) You are just having fun. That is what dating is.

- When it's time to leave, you give her a hug, and say "Thanks so much for going out with me, Alison. I had an awesome time. It was a lot of fun. Maybe next time, we should go to the baseball game! I'll see you around. Thanks again!"

Yes, you THANK HER. The girl didn't have to go out with you. You read that right - You hug her. Don't try to force anything more on her. You went on one group date - don't make things weird. If later on, you've gone on a few more dates with her, you can go for a kiss, but remember: Dating is not to get a girlfriend.

A note on the physical stuff: I know you know that guys and girls are different. They place different meaning on physical affection. I hate to break this to you, but girls vary as well. To one girl, holding hands may be a way of saying "I like you and I'm having fun with you," while to another it may mean "I love you, and this is a sign of commitment." A kiss may be "Thank you for an awesome time, and I really like spending time with you," while to someone else it means "I want to be with you forever." Just be wary about what kind of message you want to send. Some girls want to save their first kiss for over the alter, and some girls throw their lips around, looking for someone to kiss. (Stay away from those girls... Nothing but trouble.)


Well guys, I'm almost done with you. I want to give one little speech before you hit that red X on the upper righthand corner.

Although every girl should be treated with respect, not every girl deserves the young man that you are now and have the potential to be. Remember that. You are an amazing person, who is trying his best to be someone good. You have talents, you have LOADS of potential. You don't get the self-esteem speech as much as girls do, and I think that's terrible. You are working now to be someone who can hold a job, support a family, AND have fun. You may not be thinking about it all the time, but if you sat and thought hard for a little while, you'd realize you have some goals and dreams that you want to achieve. Not every girl will be able to help you get there. I know I say "it's just high school," and "dating is about fun and friendships," but seriously. Do you think that some of these girls will help you be the MAN that you want and can be? They are distractions. They do not deserve you. They will hold you back. Have fun, be chill, but be careful. The people you surround yourself with now will impact who you will become. Besides, your future wife is out there. You are going to think that she is the most amazing person ever (because she is!), and are you going to want to tell her about your manslut ways in high school? Of course not. Basically it comes down to don't be a jerk. Ask girls out. Have fun. Learn a lot. Put yourself out there. Be rejected a few times - it's normal and healthy. It sucks, but it's okay. Make some girls you know smile. Be the kind of man that you want to be.

Think about it.


Questions/Comments? Comment below or send me a message - I'd love to hear your thoughts!

A Girl's Guide to Dating (GDD: Part 2)

Back to the dating series! (I'm starting with the girls, but guys, you may want to read this too.) I know I say that proper dating begins when a young man takes initiative and asks a girl out, but, ladies, there has been some not-so-great dating going on on our part too. I'm going to break things down and give you just a few guidelines to help you out.

1. Accepting and Declining.
So, a boy asked you out. How do you feel? Excited? Flattered? Anxious? Repulsed? Confused? Maybe you feel a mixture of these emotions. That's okay. It may be very new to you. It can be intimidating. You may not have been expecting it at all! You have approximately 4.3 seconds to come up with your answer. (I just made up that number.) What do you say?!

Say yes. Unless you have a valid reason to decline, (which we will discuss below) you should pretty much always say yes. Ask him then what the plan is - what day, if he's driving or you're meeting somewhere, what the activity is (so you know how to dress), who else may be there, etc.

To accept, say something along the lines of "Thanks so much for asking, Tom! I'd love to! What is the plan?"

Invalid reasons for declining:
- You don't like him "like that."
- He's "just a friend."
- He's too awkward.
- You don't want to date him.
- You think he's joking.
- You don't want to be in a "relationship."
             If you don't know why these are invalid reasons, please refer to "The Great Dating Dilemma - Part 1"

Reasons why you may decline:
- You have prior plans.
- You're grounded.
                   If either of these are the case, say "Thank you so much for asking, Tom, but I can't go out that day. Is there another time that you'd like to go out?" and continue to arrange other plans. If you say "I'm busy," guys will assume that you don't want to go out and NEVER ASK YOU AGAIN. Seriously.

- You already have a date. (In the case of dances and such.)
                 Again, thank him for his invitation. Apologize that you can't go with him, and ask him if he'd like to go out some other time. He may not get his prom photos with you, but you can still have fun together another day.

- Going on a date with him would make you feel unsafe.
                I'm serious about this one. If a boy makes you worry about your physical or spiritual well being, just decline. Thank him for his invitation, and tell him you cannot go. Do not make up an excuse about being out of town or something. Just say you can't go that evening or that your parents don't want you going to that party or concert. i.e. "Thanks for thinking of me, Jeff, and I'm flattered, but I can't go to that concert - it's past my curfew."

- He's your best friend's ex-boyfriend. (This one I think is a valid reason. Don't break the Sister Code.)
               If he asks you out, give him a look. That's all you need to do. If you choose to accept, go for it. High school shouldn't be super intense anyway. These things are always more complicated than they should be.

- Your parents do not want you to be out with him.
               Go ahead and blame it on your parents. Thank him, of course, but say that your parents don't want you going. It's not your fault, and there is nothing wrong with letting him know that.

- He is actually repulsive. (i.e. Doesn't shower or do laundry, coughs all over you, eats like a pig, and doesn't brush his teeth.)
               I'm reasonable.

If you are uncomfortable being alone with him, but want to be kind and accept, ask him then who you will be doubling with. That brings up the subject without being rude or pushy. i.e. "Thanks for asking me out, Tom! I'm excited! Who are we doubling with? I have a friend who I know could get a date."


2. Preparing.
Make sure you know what the plan is. Nothing is worse that getting somewhere and realizing that you are dressed totally inappropriately for the activity. Also, your parents will be more comfortable letting you go if you say, "Tom and I are going to the park for a picnic. I'll let you know if anything changes," than if you say, "I'm going out with Tom. See you later tonight!" Besides, if you know the plan, you will have less awkwardness milling around than if you didn't have an activity planned.

3. The Date.
 Once you're there, remember: you are on a date with this young man. It is your job to keep your full attention on him. Do not text your friends, do not check out other guys, do not act like you wish you were anywhere but there. If it's a double or a group, do not spend the whole night chatting with your girlfriends. They didn't ask you out. He did. Have fun! Don't worry too much about what he's doing, or what he meant by that remark - most of the time, he meant exactly what he said. Just relax. He's your friend already. Take this as an opportunity to get to know him better. Is he different in a one-on-one conversation than he is when he's part of the crew "hanging out?" Does he have a dream or hobby that surprises you? Probably. Just talk. I can't say this enough: HAVE FUN. That's what dating is for.

Paying: If he asked you out, expect him to pay. If you asked him out, be prepared to pay, but accept if he offers. Allow him to be the gentleman he has the potential to be.
4. Afterwards.
Once he drops you off, or you turn to leave, give him a hug and thank him once again for asking you and giving you an excellent evening. If it's awkward and the rest of your group is there, thank him in person, but also send a text or a message saying once again how much fun you had. The next time you see him, act totally normal. PLEASE don't be one of those girls who think that everything is going to change because you went on a date with this boy. Just be chill. Don't be offended if he doesn't ask you out again right way. It's nothing personal. He just, like you, wants to get to know all sorts of people.


Ok. So, what if you like him?

First, accept politely as stated above.

Secondly, get home, go to your room, shut the door, and have a little jam session. Just jump around and be excited. HE ASKED YOU OUT! There is absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating.

Third, keep in mind the reality of the situation: you are young, he is young. You don't need seriousness right now. The goals are friendship and fun times.

If you have a boy who you like, and he likes you as well, then you are a lucky one, aren't you? Don't feel like you can only go on first dates. You can go on more than one, two, three dates with the same person without being in a "relationship." You could hold hands and be cute without "long-term commitment." I may sound like a terrible person, but this is realistic. Do not try to pull a boy into a "relationship" right now. It makes things messy. Take this time to learn the basics of dating so you don't screw things up when you start looking into marriage. Most young women, as wonderful as they are, don't know how to say yes or no to a date, let alone know how to handle the ups and downs of a "relationship." Just make sure that you are on the same page as your "Tom".

Dating is complicated, with many variables. It would be impossible for me to cover every scenario or situation that could occur. I hope that you ladies find this helpful (and maybe some of you guys find it insightful). Dating is complicated, yes, but it is also wonderful. It is so much fun! Spending time with a good friend is and should be fantastic.

Think about it.

Questions or comments? Please send me a message or comment below! I'd love to hear your opinion.

The Great Dating Dilemma - Part 1

Rejection. Tears. Drama. Ruined friendships. Anger. Cold shoulders. Whispers. Gossip. Insecurity. Vulnerability. Awkwardness.

These are all risks that come with high school dating. Let me tell you - they suck. Not just for you, but for the person you were dealing with, your friends and their friends (which are normally the same people), and family members on both sides.

BUT DON'T WORRY. There are precautions you can take to avoid these issues. Don't let these scare you into not dating. That is something that is occurring more and more often in our culture now. People come up with the best excuses not to date. How many times have you heard these lines?

"Well, I would ask her out, but I can't drive yet."
"He's nice enough, but he's my FRIEND! I could never date him!"
"She's not ready for commitment."
"I'm not ready for commitment."
"She would expect so much from me! There's no way I can live up to her ideals of the 'perfect boyfriend.'"
"Well, I couldn't tell if he was joking or not, so, I said no."
"He won't ask me out!"
"He's shorter than me. It would never work."
"He's too... bland. I can't be with someone who can't like that."
"I don't like her."
"I could never be more than friends. Why lead him on?"
"I don't have any money."


I am going to address each of these statements. This is the first in a mini-series I'm doing on dating. One of my friends told me to wait until I left for England to start this one; just to be sure nothing gets awkward after I open my soul and share my dating philosophy. It is frustrating to watch this generation (MY generation) screw up dating. Come on, guys. Think it through. I have a very different idea of what "dating" means than popular culture does. I am going to break it down for you.

A date is made up of 1 or more couples spending time together to get to know one another better and to have fun at a pre-determined time. Simple. No one said anything about "relationships" or "commitment" or "pressure." That makes dating unnecessarily complicated. If a boy and a girl go into an evening both knowing this purpose, they can spend less time trying to analyze each others' moves and motives, and more time actually having fun.

Now on to the excuses...

1. "Well, I would ask her out, but I can't drive yet."

Guess what? You don't need to drive. Sure, it may be more impressive if you can, and you will have more freedom to change plans. Still, there is NO shame WHATSOEVER in having your mom or older sibling drive you to a date. It is not an issue to meet your date wherever you're going. You asked her out, didn't you? My bet would be that she'll be too excited to notice that you're not driving. Especially in places where a graduated license system is in place; she will understand that the laws make it impossible for you to drive her right now.

2. "He's nice enough, but he's my FRIEND! I could never date him!"

This one bugs me a lot. He's your friend? Oh that's nice... Maybe that's why he wants to spend time with you! Ladies, no one is asking you to continually, or steady, date a young man who asks you out. If he had the guts to ask you out, he obviously thinks you're pretty cool, and he just wants to spend time with you without the rest of the gang. Maybe he does like you. MAKE HIS WORLD. You don't have to go out with him over and over again, or hold his hand, or kiss him, or be his girlfriend. But, if he's nice, and he's your friend - go out with him. Unless he is absolutely terrible, he should at least get one date. Just be smart.

3. "She's not ready for commitment"/"I'm not ready for commitment."

These statements are both correct. No teenager is ready for the type of commitment that is required for the "relationships" we aspire to have. Why should that keep us from dating? Remember the definition of a date above- nothing involving commitment (except showing up on time). If you only will date people in high school that you think will lead to long and happy relationships, you are not going to date much. Why isolate yourself from learning what you want and don't want in the person you end up with? It brings you one step closer to finding that person with whom you will live happily ever after. In the meantime, make friends and have fun. High school is about learning who the heck you are, and the qualities you want in a long term companion can only be discovered once you know your strengths and weaknesses.
 "Commitment" is so over used in high school dating.

4. "She would expect so much from me! There's no way I can live up to her ideals of the 'perfect boyfriend.'"

Read number 3 once more. Take a breath. This one is lame. Have you talked with this young lady to know what she wants from dating right now?  Maybe you've heard her talk to her girlfriends about all the sweet things she wants a guy to do for her. That doesn't mean she expects it to be you. I mean, I tell my girlfriends about how my life is going to be once I inherit a million dollars and marry Richard Armitage. How likely is that? (Next to impossible.) But, that doesn't mean I expect the boy I go out with a few times in high school to be a Hollywood hunk or a period drama god. I expect him to be a teenage boy - who will mess up sometimes, but just be a good friend.

5. "Well, I couldn't tell if he was joking or not, so, I said no."

If you can't tell - ALWAYS SAY YES. That'll teach him not to joke like that again. Besides, he now has a date with you! Lucky chap.  If you can't tell if he's joking, he's probably only half-joking. Asking someone out can be scary, even if they're your friend and you know they'll say yes. It. Is. Terrifying. Using the "Haha... I was just joking" line is a way to defend their pride and hide insecurity. Just assume he's asking you out.

You might be surprised, gentlemen, how often I hear this one, especially with prom. Now you know what I told the girls... Don't actually joke about this, or you'll end up with a date you weren't expecting.

6. "He won't ask me out!"

Then ask HIM out! Some guys have no idea in their adorable minds that you want to go on a date with them! They just don't think about it. Ask him out, and have fun. NO SHAME. Some of my best dates have been when I asked my date. Then you get to plan it too! If you're really nervous, get a girlfriend to ask someone, and double. It's actually a whole lot of fun.

7. "He's shorter than me. It would never work."

Come on. Remember - no one is asking you to go steady with the guy. No one wants you to marry him. GO HAVE FUN WITH HIM. He had the guts to get past his insecurity and ask you out. Please move past your vanity and learn to see him for the person he is inside, not the way he looks to your friends.

8. "He's/She's too... bland. I can't be with someone like that."

Think about this seriously for a second. By "bland", do you mean "good?" Or "sweet?" Or "responsible?" Remember how guys always complain how girls like "bad boys", and girls whine about guys chasing "skanks?" It's true. I've been saying over and over again how high school dating should be about self-discovery and making long-lasting friendships. If this is the case, why would you shun those who would actually treat you with respect and be a good friend? They may not be that Hollywood dream guy/girl, but they are real. Think about it.

9. "I don't like her."

Maybe not now, you don't. Have you noticed how I haven't said a single thing about dating someone you have a genuine crush on? Let me explain. There is nothing wrong with liking someone, or multiple someones. It's age appropriate. This is a big reason why teenagers shouldn't attempt "long -term relationships." You may like one person one day, and another person another day. Of course, this is a general, and there are exceptions. There are teenagers who are so loyal that they struggle liking someone new after liking someone for a long time, just because it's weird not liking person one. There are also people who meet in high school who end up getting married and have long, happy, successful relationships. Those people are champs. In teenage dating, there is nothing wrong with going on dates with someone you like. Just don't try to lock things in place. Date multiple people, but don't be in a "relationship" with multiple people. Keep things light. High school is fun. Don't let "relationship" drama ruin that for you. This means that even if you don't like the person, you can go out with them for a night and have fun with a friend.

There was a study done a few years ago, and the results found that guys were more romantic than girls. This means that guys were more likely to fall in love, and do so quicker. Girls were more tentative with their hearts, but once in love, loved longer.

This means that guys, you may like a girl one day and think that you are going to marry her and be with her forever. Don't say that to her. Chances are you're going to be over her and into a new babe in a little while. It's just the way your high school brains are wired. (It's not an excuse to be a player. Be smart please.)

Girls, don't give all of you. If you are hearing "I love you"'s and "I want to be with you forever"'s from a guy, feel flattered, but don't read too much into it. His brain is ADD, and if you don't believe it, you will end up hung up on somebody that you used to know. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

*NOTE: This is really bad "relationship" advice. It is not intended for people in "committed relationships." It is good advice for teenagers looking for dating and not DATING.*

10. "I could never be more than friends. Why lead him on?"

If you've read this whole post, and are still wondering my opinion on this one, you weren't paying attention. There is no need to be "more than friends" right now. I mean, you can have friends, good friends, and good friends (if you know what I mean), but why do you need a boyfriend or girlfriend? It's a lot of work. If you don't want to lead him on, don't hold his hand or kiss him. Don't say things to him that would be interpreted as you liking him. (Not that all guys read a ton into this, but some definitely do. I'm friends with a few.) I know this is a lot to ask of high schoolers, but just be smart.

11. "I don't have any money."

Dates don't have to cost money! Make a picnic and bring a soccer ball. Go to an outdoor movie in the summer. Heart attack your friends' houses. Have a photo shoot in ridiculous outfits. Document the adventures of an invisible man. Write a song. Build a fort. Have a mud fight. Play with water guns. Watch a movie and make sassy commentary, or turn off the sound and add your own dialogue. Dating can be so fun. Just go have fun! Don't worry about drama. Drama only happens when there is a misunderstanding or lack of communication from the start.


WOW. You have finished a novel-length post. Congrats! Look out for Part 2 and Part 3, which will be "How-To" guides for girls and guys. I will get to them ASAP, because, well, this is a fun topic.

Think about it.


Comments or questions?? I would love your imput! Send me a message or comment below.

I've Got A Dream...

I've been letting things go. I'm going to have totally different experiences. I'm letting go of some relationships that aren't working out. I'm picking myself up and "marchin' on." (Nod to OneRepublic.) And I started realizing things about myself that I never noticed before. Most importantly, I figured out dreams that I had not been acknowledging. Wow. That's a lot. Not that these people and things were holding me back, but I was holding myself to a certain direction for them.

A dream I realized: I want to start a school.

I want to buy an old estate with a big house and a stable and start a school. I want there to be "houses" like in Harry Potter and Anne of Green Gables. I want to teach the Classics.I want there to be music, art, geography, history, government, theatre - things that sometimes get overlooked. I want my science classes to be balanced, with opportunity to learn science without worrying about politics. I want girls to learn horseback riding, archery, and baking, and the boys to learn fencing, home-repair, and outdoor skills. Everyone learns basic cooking, ballroom dancing, and swimming.  I want to have respect, responsibility, and fun all on the same level of importance. I want to create a place where kids can run around and have fun, and think that learning is fun and exciting. (Which it totally is.) A place where they can think seriously about their futures without feeling pressured to take paths that aren't for them. A place where the trades are just as valuable as college. I want a place where kids are presented with information, and they can decide what to do with it, and learn how to form their own opinions. I love the dream of it. I hope I can create this place, even on a small scale for my kids or students.

See the things you learn about yourself when you move on? Sometimes it's painful, but it may be surprising what you discover when you shove off from the familiar shore.

Peace from the East,
S

Jumping Jacks

I've got a concept for a TV show! This is what the reviews will say when it comes out:

"Jumping Jacks" is a quirky program packed full of personality. It follows the lives of 6 teenagers; Ashley, Camille, Livy, Calvin, Carter, and Brandon. The pilot episode establishes the characters as they cope with their friends' graduation, leaving them behind.

Ashley is a spirited firecracker, always in for a laugh or a good time. That intensity can be turned against her when she is faced with drama or disappointments. She is an unknowing flirt, and that sometimes can get her into trouble.

Camille is the blond beauty. She is sweet and looks out for her friends. She is the oldest of the group, and yet is the one who claims to have no idea how to how to talk to boys, although they admire her anyway. She can play a handful of sports very well also. If we didn't love her, we'd be so jealous of her.

Livy is a dork who loves history and writing. She loves the stage and anything British. She sometimes enjoys taking a step back and just watching the rest of the group interact. She hates seeing anyone of her friends hurt, and can be the momma bear if necessary. She also is one who loves giving advice, although sometimes the group doesn't really want it.

Calvin is the mathematical genius of the group. He can calculate numbers in his head in a flash. He seems quiet, and for parts of the episode, you start to forget he's there. Then, out of the blue, he'll give a one-liner that leaves your sides aching, and you realize why you couldn't live without him.

Carter is a heartthrob. (Look out teen population of America!) He is a total flirt, but not a jerk. Sometimes, he surprises with another dimension to his character, such as revealing that he performs Shakespeare or listens to the boy band that all the tween girls are obsessed with. Still, he's a boy's boy, tackling the other guys or frequently calling people "boob", and then giving this little smile he can't hold back.

Lastly, Brandon is the best friend that every girl wishes for. He listens, asks for advice, and knows how to have fun. He always wears his heart on his sleeve, which can sometimes lead to drama. We predict that Brandon will have a huge following as well. We foresee a "Team Carter". "Team Brandon", and "Team Calvin" type battle in the very near future.

We found it interesting that the kids are never shown in a high school. They will refer to "classes" or "homework", but never talk about their school sports teams or rivalries. The group is very musical, with Calvin and Ashley playing the piano, Brandon playing guitar, Carter plays the bass, and the girls sing. All of the kids - except Calvin - participate in a community theatre program that they mention. We hope that there will be an episode or two showing us that side of them!

The relationships between each of the kids are interesting and complex. Although they love each other dearly, the very real sisterhood between Livy and Ashley sometimes leads to conflict and competitiveness. The "will they, won't they?" back and forth of Ashley and Brandon. The continuing flirtation between Carter and Camille. (Although they are the youngest and oldest of the group. We don't see that going anywhere.) It goes on and on.

The choice of "Lights" by Ellie Goulding for the theme song was an interesting one, although we approve after watching the show. The feeling of being part of a group of kids gives this show an addicting quality. We can't wait to see where "Jumping Jacks" will take us!

Reality is a Lovely Place

Why do I love reading?? Well, I've always had an overactive imagination. I've always been able to take a situation and run with it in my head. This is a blessing and a curse. I can conjure up pretty much anything, and is a lot of fun! I can see the positive outcomes to a seemingly bleak situation, and see possible solutions. It makes being in theatre really fun, too. Downsides: Sometimes I get lost in my head. I can sit quietly for a veeeery long time. People don't understand where I'm coming from sometimes, because it's so out there. I become attached to fiction - a book, movie, person I've created. It reminds me of Beatrice Potter, who wrote Peter Rabbit. She called her characters her friends. The worst is when someone I know in my Imagi Nation is an awful lot like someone I know in real life. Then, I see the possibilities of who they can become, or who I'd like them to be.

Have you ever been to Disney World? Or had a great show run? Or gone on an epic vacation? Or had an awesome summer? Remember that feeling you had when whatever it was ended? That feeling of emptiness or disappointment is what I feel EVERY STINKING TIME I READ A BOOK. It's deep and personal, and it's like a good friend has just moved away, or we had a falling out. That feeling that you just need to give them a last hug before they leave, but you can't. (I definitely can't, because... they're not... real.)

....And then they turn the book into a movie. It happens all over again. It's almost worse if the actor looks at all like I imagined the character. This is the case with The Hunger Games. I fell in love with Peeta Mellark the moment he stepped up next to Katniss at the Reaping. It got worse as I continued reading all three books. I just always felt close to him. I could see us walking around District 12 or Rockville Town Center... Me giving him advice on how to deal with Katniss, him giving me cookies and great hugs. Is that terrible? It's probably because Peeta reminds me of several of my friends rolled into one amazing guy. It definitely doesn't help that Josh Hutcherson is attractive. 

It's awesome to be able to put yourself into a story so effectively. The Hunger Games was really fun and heart wrenching to read. I had a lot of fun as a kid. I could see these super complex stories to play with my friends. We had plot lines that took us to pirate ships, farms, zoos, kingdoms, and a whole town we invented in our basement (That was inspired by this book).

I never wish my imagination was less than it is. I look around, and see that I live in a society where imagination is celebrated when it produces something great. Otherwise, can be stunted or stimulated at a young age by the movies and television we push on them. Some kids just cannot use their imagination. Other can see the world movies presents them and beyond. My imagination hasn't created anything "great", but it has created a few characters I've played, the games I played as a kid, and everything I write. I'm just curious to see the movies they'll make and the books they'll write in 25, 50, 65 years. What characters will I be introduced to? What friends will I make?

I guess we'll just have to see... But I will continue to quote my hero Adam Young: Reality is a lovely place, but...

I wouldn't want to live there.

World Travel.

I'm very sure ships could be sinking mid-way along kindly made glaciers. I never sway from eating little lunches because it upsets mom. Snakes yield other unfortunate attributes, even queasy bodily kinks. Girls always adore turkeys under the kiwi kayak. Pretty Indians sell new banging, blue buttons. Lice can't vex minor singers in brutally evil ticklish places. Ruling monarchs canNot stop jewel thieves. Buff guys hate eating non-cooked pancakes. Virginians go silly for golf. Can elephants pounce bouncy castles and undo party bags? Even lost toys attack many wilting military men needing cold strawberry slushies. Cool swag guys go before girls secret lovers' lies. Catching burning fires gets to be nasty 'cause every single person goes. Entreat doves' every sailing kind until days run circularly calling cool adoring rain. Angels never stop attending little sweet baby zebras zealously miracles till bravely retiring. Colors unite sails of ambrosia at midnight.

I'm Jordan, and Iraq, 'cause Iran to Afghanistan. <3


Where the Heck is Matt?

Nostalgia

The other day, they were playing High School Musical on TV. I haven't heard or seen HSM for years. It was super exciting to see those "cool teenagers" I admired when I was eleven. Did you realize that the characters only 15 and 16 in the first two movies? Whoa. It was really funny to see my friends in the characters I used to see as so distant. Still, it's kind of weird to see something that I idolized when I was 12. (I'll admit it - I was a tweeny-bopper.)

Little did I know how true to life these movies would end up being. People called them "cheesey", which they totally are, but it's because every teenager could relate to one of the characters on the screen.

This got me thinking about Lizzie McGuire and Phil of the Future, listening to Avril Lavigne and Jesse McCartney. NOSTALGIA.

Lists of Likes

This week, my brother had to make two lists for his composition class; one of things he likes, and one of things he doesn't like. He inspired me to do the same. We'll start with things I don't like so we can end on a positive note.

Things I Dislike
-Being stood up
-Heavy metal music
-Being told my "time will come"
-Being treated as a child
-Violent movies (There's enough suffering in the world, why would we want to watch it for FUN?!)
-When people get on my mom's case for not doing enough (Who do you think you are? Try her life sometime, and then you'll stop.)
-Never getting a reply to a text, call, email, letter, etc.
-People living far away
-When people commit to something, and then bail last second
-Waiting a week for each Downton Abbey episode
-Turning in assignments late
-Girls who need every boy to like them
-Not having enough room on my corkboard for everything I want to put on it
-When Mutual is cancelled
-Not being able to dance as much as I'd like
-Abortion
-When people use other's misfortune to continue their political agendas
-Lust stories (Gross. Fo reals, yo.)
-Waking up early
-When people make fun of my brothers
-Poverty
-Not being able to help as much as I would like to
-Wondering if I'm good enough for something
-Those days when I'm tired of myself
-When people know the Gospel is true, and then succumb to the World
-Confrontation
-When people can't take hints
-Not having enough time to do everything I want to do

Things I Like
-American history
-Reading
-The smell of pumpkin bread
-Hugs
-Spending time with my family
-Watching movies with my friends
-Going on dates with some awesome guy friends
-Literature Class
-Downton Abbey
-Tap dancing
-Being on stage
-Owl City
-Photographs
-New York City
-Swings
-That first 50 of swim practice, when you feel totally graceful and powerful
-When people ask my opinion, and actually care
-BBC
-Reading my old journals
-C.S. Lewis
-The smell of vanilla
-Writing and receiving letters
-Broadway musicals
-Playing with kids
-Getting random "I think you're awesome" text messages
-Going my my friends' Eagle Scout courts of honor
-Seeing my friends leave on missions
-Setting goals
-Crossing goals off my list
-History in general
-Old thrillers (Perry Mason, Hawaii 5-O, Mission: Impossible)
-Disney movies
-Jane Austen
-Love stories
-Playing piano
-Singing at the top of my lungs
-Church dances
-Personal progress/honor bee program
-Seminary
-Prom dresses/getting dressed up
-Dancing in the rain
-The scriptures
-GENERAL CONFERENCE IS THE GREATEST THING EVER.
-Going to Cici's after a show
-EFY
-Dr. Seuss
-Sunshine
-Pretzel M&Ms
-Holidays
-Summertime
-England
-Shakespeare
-Priest/Laurel activities
-Louisa May Alcott
-Standing up for what I believe in
-Homeschooling
-Reading in front of the fireplace
-Bragging about the awesome things my friends accomplish
-Oranges
-Theatre Camp
-Discussions
-Panera Bread
-Travelling
-Learning about world culture
-Disney World
-Dreaming
-Going sledding with my friends
-Blogging :)

My Life in Song

Everyone has seen the chain email that is a "life soundtrack" thing. You set your music player on shuffle, and whatever it comes up with is a song that represents a certain aspect of your life. This can sometimes be really funny. Still, yesterday I had a moment. I was walking into troupe through the parking lot. The sun was shining and it was an excellent 60-something degrees. I was happy, and listening to a certain song. It matched the moment PERFECTLY.  If I had been in a movie, that song would've been playing at that moment. Amazing.

It got me thinking: if my life was a movie, what would be on the soundtrack? I have some ideas.

1. Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton
2. Plant Life - Owl City
3. Rain - MIKA
4. Helena Beat - Foster the People
5. Drops of Jupiter - Train
6. Sort Of - Ingrid Michaelson
7. Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
8. You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift
9. Good Life - (Originally by OneRepublic) Alex Goot
10. Fireflies - Owl City
11. Animal - Neon Trees
12. Hey, Soul Sister - Train
13. Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
14. We Are Young - MIKA & RedOne
15. Stuck Like Glue - Sugarland
16. Lift Me Up - The Afters
17. Happily Ever After - He is We
18. Paradise - Coldplay
19. By Your Side - Tenth Avenue North
20. Sunburn - Owl City
21. Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears
22. Safety Dance - (Original) Men Without Hats or Glee Cast cover
23. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cindi Lauper
24. Skip to the Good Part - He is We
25. Enchanted - Taylor Swift
26. Through Being Cool - (Original) Devo or They Might Be Giants cover
27. Strip Me - Natasha Bedingfield
28. Firework - Katy Perry
29. Give Me Your Eyes - Brandon Heath
30. Waste - Foster the People
31. Emmylou - First Aid Kit
32. We Are Gonna Be Friends - (Original) The White Strips or Bright Eyes cover Feat. First Aid Kit
33. Wouldn't It Be Nice - The Beach Boys
34. Lucky (feat. Colbie Caillet) - Jason Mraz
35. River Flows in You - Yiruma

There are some embarrassing songs, some I proudly declare that I adore. It was really interesting to go through my music and pick 35 songs that I felt represented my life. It was funny to see the many different styles that appeared on this list. I would go through and explain each song, but it's a little personal. I'm sure that most of you who know me well already know why these songs are here.

Peace from the East,
S

The Lullaby of Broadway

In my life, there are times when I catch in the silence the sigh of a far away song, and it sings of a world that I long to see. I see a mountain and I want to climb it. I see a river and I want to explore. I think I'll try defying gravity, and you can't pull me down.

No canary in a cage for me! This canary's ready to fly free! I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair. Forget about the boy! I'm gonna wave that man right outta my hair. If that's love it comes at much too high a cost. I don't think you even know what you're looking for. So for my own sanity, I've got to close the door, and walk away. Old man sunshine, listen you! Don't ever tell me dreams come true... Too many years fighting back tears, Watching older dreams grow dim. This was nearly mine. No, no, they can't take that away from me. But, I'll never have the moon.

Five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes. Five hundred, twenty-five thousand moments to plan. Five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes. How do you measure the life of a woman or a man? In truth that she learned, or in times that he cried? Now you know what's out there in the world. All I have are memories. I need a task to do. Someone give me a task to do! I need a- .....Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise, sunset. Swiftly fly the days.... Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers, blossoming even as we gaze. Before I gaze at you again, I need some time for tears. Before I gaze at you again, let hours turn to years. I have so much forgetting to do... Memory, all alone in the moonlight. I can smile at the old days... Turning, turning, turning through the years. Nothing changes, nothing ever will. Somethings will never end: the thrill of our magic ride, the love that I feel inside for you.

From this day forward nights won't seem so black. From this day forward we will never look back. In whatever time we have, we will make the most of time. And at least we'll be together As long as you're mine. And though there's no future, for us as a pair, and though I may know, I don't care. There's a place for us, a time and a place for us. Hold my hand and we're halfway there. Hold my hand and I'll take you there. You won't believe all the things you'll see. I know 'cause you'll see them all with me. If we're together well then, we'll hear it again. Like an unexpected song, an unexpected song. Suddenly there is music in the sound of your name! What if we kissed?! What a crescendo! - There was love all around, but I never heard it singing. No, I never heard it at all, till there was you.

The lullaby of Broadway.

-------------------------------------------------

In My Life - Les Miserables
Spark of Creation - Children of Eden
Defying Gravity - Wicked

Forget About the Boy - Thoroughly Modern Millie
Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair - South Pacific
Defying Gravity - Wicked
There's a Fine, Fine Line - Avenue Q
Be Not For Me - Crazy For You
Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again - Phantom of the Opera
Far From the Home I Love - Fiddler on the Roof
This Was Nearly Mine - South Pacific
They Can't Take That Away From Me - Crazy For You
Stars and the Moon - Songs For a New World

Seasons of Love - Rent
Lament - Into the Woods
Fire Within Me - Little Women
Sunrise, Sunset - Fiddler on the Roof
Before I Gaze At You Again - Camelot
Memory - Cats
Turning - Les Miserables
Somethings Are Meant to Be - Little Women
In Whatever Time We Have - Children of Eden
As Long As You're Mine - Wicked
Somewhere - West Side Story
Last Night of the World - Miss. Saigon
An Unexpected Song - Song and Dance
Rosemary - How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
Till There Was You - Music Man
The Lullaby of Broadway - 42nd Street